Wonderful Definitions..

Just came across a set of funny n meaningful definitions..
You may have seen it earlier, still here they are...



BOSS :
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

MARRIAGE :
Its an agreement where a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

LECTURE :
An art of transmitting infromation from the notes of a lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

CONFERENCE :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

COMPROMISE :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

TEARS :
The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine water-power

DICTIONARY :
A place where divorce comes before marriage

CLASSIC :
A book which people praise, but never read

SMILE :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight

YAWN :
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth

EXPERIENCE :
The name men give to their mistakes

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later

CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught

MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH

PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY

OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions

FATHER:
A banker provided by nature